more info...

Captain Joe;

Just found out that this (what's a 4 letter word for snatch?  Grab)woman that's hanging out with Mikie that drives a white 92 Chev van with a maroon stripe, has mafia ties. 

I need some direction if you have a chance, perhaps put someone from the drug task force could reach out?

Chad to Captain Joe:  Guess what?  I made $10.25 giving blow jobs today...
Captain Joe to Chad: who paid you the quarter?
Chad to Captain Joe: All of them!

Ba dum dum.

I want you, when you have time help me with a clock.  It ticks in both forward and backwards...it's a countdown clock and when I show it to you, I'll sit back and watch you sh!+ a purple Twinkie...

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