Ebullience
I am touched beyond words for the acts of kindness Bozeman Police Department since I have arrived. What happened last night and early this morning just blew me away. When I arrived at my tent on fowler and Laramie near the mall, my tent had not only been set up, but a foam pad and my quilt...complete with skidmarks and dental impressions resembling #105 and #119 on the corners.
Yup. Same red flannel that night I dragged him back to the house that 4 of us from Delta Sigma Phi had rented across from the Molly Brown (still there...painted U.A. court-ordered yellow)
Those boys and girls in Blue had a time whilst I was crossing town to get my gym clothes and attempt to ride my bike back to the Pond. I had hoped Chief Knight was going to tuck me in and read me a bedtime story...or at least some beat [sic] nick poetry...so I'll have to be the Daddy, here:
There exists a kind Andy Knight
That for a phallus, he used dynamite.
They found his rear molars
Just this side of Boulder
And his anus got shot down in flight.
"Pull!"
I couldn't figure out what was taking the Chief so long inside Walmart and then when I unfurled the foam pad and sleeping bag, I soon realized he was in the fitting room trying it on to see if it would be a snug fit for both of us.
Chief...if you get any shorter, you'll have to wear a snorkel to do the dishes. I am banned from riding in a Careflight Helicopter I'm that tall. My feet and half my tib/fib stick out the door during up-and-downs that we would do on Christmas eve at Med 60 for SFCFD across from the state penitentiary. Scary place. Anyways, back on point, I'm a lone wolf, so you can just stay with Sgt. Toresdahl. I don't want to be a homewrecker like I've done 40 years ago with a duty Sargent from Bozeman PD.
Not to (#105) mention any names but there is an officer that bears a striking resemblance to this man (I didn't know he was PD for 6 months and then our fraternity got in trouble as 6 of us were caught on a fire escape near 1st Security Bank looking for our brothers hiding in a flat with a full keg of beer)
Priceless. When the Sargent and I,made eye contact, he smiled and looked down at the paperwork and a little pee-tinkle stain showing his religion again.
"Don't worry, guys, let me take one for the team, here", I said.
I should have guessed he was a cop. He squealed like a pig and I made guttural moans not heard except by dogs and ravens and they cleared the block.
I was a bar manager at The Sundance Saloon kinda where Safeway sits. Bill Gafke, who is still selling cars, remembers me. Man I had fun with those sales guys. We would float Yankee Jim Canyon, jump the leech pit at Chico Hot Springs...we were family. I woke up one morning in bed with two married bar patrons with ones estranged husband mowing the lawn. Cringy.
Yes I was a port star. Shudder. You wanna see? Google Chad Douglas Porn and now you can see why that sleeping bag fit the chief, but it's rather confining for me and my Baleeno. Grande Pingo con quedo de LA verga. Con Leche. Stop smacking your lips Cinderella...wait til you get to this ball. *gag*.
I must go. Enjoy your day everyone and be careful. Wear a mask around me unless you wanna taste some recycled asparagus. I think I'll invite Officer T. Hodges over for a taste. If I can pull him away from that bow-wow he calls a boyfriend. I see that yes- yes look. But I don't mess around with married men. Nice try.
